


Getting The Gang Back Together

by Demonlucy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alpha Universe, Alternate Canon, Character Death, Gen, Its the end of the world as we know it, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Sadstuck, but I'm a sap, i cried while writing, will make you cry probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7983739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demonlucy/pseuds/Demonlucy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'My dear, sweet friends I truly am sorry that it must be I who has to send you to your deaths but what I ask of you must be done, and whether I instigate it or not I truly feel that your fate would have been the same.</p>
<p>You will be the beginning and end of Earths revolution.</p>
<p>Whatever history is left behind at the end after our inevitable defeat, I know that the two of you will be remembered as nothing less than Heroes of Humanity.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Dreams; Jade English

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea has been making me sad for the past few days and I thought, 'Hey! Why not make other people sad too!'

A lone figure stumbles through the forest on an island in the Pacific. The figure was that of Jade English, more commonly known as the runaway adopted granddaughter of Betty Crocker. She staggered along a rough path worn down by many years of use by her and her grandson, the worn down path lead towards the home that she had made for the two of them many years ago, when her grandson Jake, was just a baby. 

Jade, in her haste to return home, tripped and fell to the ground with a thump, her blood soaking into the soil and forming a small puddle where she lay, for you see the 80 plus year old had been shot multiple times. It was pure luck that the bullets didn’t hit anything that would have killed her instantly and only through sheer force of will had she managed to travel this far from the location where she was shot.  
The wounds though not enough to have killed her instantly where still going to take her life and soon, she was holding out as long as she could but the human body could only take so much.   
Her death had been ordered by the Batter Witch herself, who had allowed Jade to live in constant paranoia waiting for her death. 

The elderly woman groaned in pain where she lay face down on the floor, with the knowledge that she will never be able to muster the strength to pick herself back up, knowing that this worn down dirt path that was half way between the place she was attacked and home, would be her final resting place. 

Jade would die gazing down at the Earth instead of up at the vast expanse of stars like she had always wanted, with the last of her will power she forced her arms to move and instead of turning herself over to catch one last glimpse of her beloved space she focused her efforts and sent a very important pre-typed message to the only people who could possibly help save the world, or what was left of it. 

With the message sent, Jade English relaxed into the dirt, damp with her blood and finally allowed herself to do what she had wanted to do since she got shot; she stopped struggling against the darkness, closed her tired eyes and drifted off.

>   
>  My friends,
> 
> If you are reading this then it is already too late for me and the Batter Witch has begun her final phase of world domination.  
>  I had sincerely hoped to be with you all longer however I always knew that I was living on borrowed time from the moment I escaped her clutches, the fact that she had allowed me to live this long was nothing short of a miracle considering how much I knew about her and her plans, though I guess that she must have always known that I was powerless to stop her. 
> 
> Please know that in my last moment I thought of you and it is with a heavy heart that I request a final task from the two of you, whom like myself, have seen through Betty Crocker’s disguise from day one. 
> 
> You will find the information of your separate tasks attached to this email if you choose to accept and carryout what it is that I have asked of you, and I know you will, because although I have already asked for so much from you both, I know that you will continue fighting for the children and any future that this planet might have. Whether this is because you believe that you can win, that this planet really does have some future or whether you are just too stubborn to obey, hardly matters.
> 
> My dear, sweet friends I truly am sorry that it must be I who has to send you to your deaths but what I ask of you must be done, and whether I instigate it or not I truly feel that your fate would have been the same.
> 
> You will be the beginning and end of Earths revolution. 
> 
> Whatever history is left behind at the end after our inevitable defeat, I know that the two of you will be remembered as nothing less than Heroes of Humanity.
> 
> It would have been nice to speak to you both one last time, but it seems that none of us will ever get to say our goodbyes.
> 
> It has truly been a pleasure working with and knowing both of you, even if our time was short.
> 
> Do not mourn for me my friends, for now I can finally rest.
> 
> Sweet dreams; 
> 
> Jade English
>
>> 


	2. [Email Sent To; Rosaline Lalonde, David Strider]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Email recived, years pass and Rose rides down the Bloody Falls wishing for a better life in a nicer world

[Email Sent To; Rosaline Lalonde, David Strider]

 

In the late afternoon light a computer chimes after receiving an email, a young woman approaches and opens it. Her long black dress wrinkling as she sat down, reading quickly through the main contents brought small tears to the woman’s eyes, she wouldn’t let them fall but that didn’t keep them from forming. 

She closed her eyes in silent mourning for her friend before opening them, purple orbs now aflame with anger and motivation. She opened the link the email had provided for her and began to read the last mission that her beloved friend had left for her.

The young woman was Rosaline Lalonde and she had a job to do.

But first she had a phone to answer, one that was not yet ringing but will be very shortly. How does she know this you may ask, well Rosaline knows many things, she knows the person who is going to ring very well so it is a relatively obvious conclusion that they will ring as soon as they finish reading the email. However that is not why she knows, she knows because she is the Seer of Light, or rather she would have been in an alternate universe. 

The phone began ringing just as the woman reached out to pick it up, she offered no greeting to the person on the other end gave none to her. Minutes passed and nether spoke, it was only the quite hiccups in breath from the other that indicated they were on the end of the line.

“… S-she’s gone.” The voice whispered, tight with emotion that was equally mirrored in the woman, though she didn’t show it.

“I know, I’m going to go through with her plan. It’s like she said we really can’t refuse, will you do your part?” Rosaline asked the young man who was on the other end of the line.

“Don’t be stupid Rose, I’ll play my part so fuckin’ well no one will know what hit them, they’ll be all ‘Damn I feel like I’ve just been slapped across the face with some amazing acting how strange!’” 

“I know you will, me asking was just a pleasantry. I have something to ask of you, I have a feeling that I know how our missions will end and I want you to pick somethings up for me while I collect an old friend.” Rosaline asked softly while she purchased plane tickets to Maple Valley, Washington. 

“Sure, I trust your instincts Rose. I’ll pick up your dirty laundry.” David replied, he paused and then spoke again, “… You’re gonna pick up John aren’t ya?” he questioned sadly.

“I believe we should end this together, since the other us started this together… it’s only fair.” She began packing a small bag for her flight, it was only going to be a quick in and out mission to get John.

“Yeah… What about Jade though? She’s already gone and we have no way of even getting her body back…” 

“One of the things I’m having you pick up is a photo of her, I’m sure you can find a nice frame for it… she will be with us in spirit that is more than enough.”  
Rosaline answered, already heading out the door to catch her flight. “It will be a long time until we can meet again Dave; I wish you joy in the time you have left.”

“Is that a pun? You’re the light of my life, Rose.” The woman gave a small laugh.

“I’ll miss you...” She whispered to her friend.

“Hey, I’m not dead yet. I’ll see you next time, take care of yourself… I’ll miss you too.” David said sadly before hanging up, Rose gave a heartbreaking smile and sent him a text about the two items that he needed to retrieve for her.

 

Sometime later Rosaline landed in Washington, she got a cab to Maple Valley and had them park a block away from the Crocker house. She waited patiently for a few minutes and once the father’s car drove away, talking John’s granddaughter with him. The woman walked up to the house and expertly picked the lock before heading inside to collect Jonathan Crocker.

Well the remains of the man once called Jonathan Crocker.

Rosaline walked into a cosy living room and up to a nice fireplace, on top of the mantle where a few framed pictures of a father and daughter but that wasn’t she was gazing sadly at. 

It was the urn filled with ashes that sat next to a photo of a smiling old man.

“Hello John, would you like to join me and Dave on one last adventure?” She whispered quietly to the remains of the great comedian. She picked up the urn and replaced it with an identical one that she had picked up before hand. 

She left the house silently, making it look like she had never even entered in the first place. 

On her flight back, as she sat alone in first class clutching the urn tightly to her chest she allowed herself to shed a few tears for the friends she had lost, the love in this life that she had never known and the friend that she would soon lose.

 

Throughout the following years the names of David Strider and Rosaline Lalonde became bigger than they had ever been before. David with his award winning movies and Rosaline with her bestselling novels, there wasn’t a person alive who didn’t recognise their names. They created near-subliminal protests designed to expose the corporate tyranny slowly taking control of the world.

They fought Betty Crocker at every turn, trying to rally forces against her.

They failed.

In the end nothing could stop the path of global domination that the batter witch had already started, two clowns were placed in charge and excisions began on all who tried to resist, even the lives of David’s actors were taken in an effort to stop his subliminal messages of Betty Crocker’s takeover.  
Rosaline watched from afar as the batter witch finally reviled herself to humanity, proving that she as in fact an evil empress who had now effectively conquered the world and there was nothing at that point which humanity could do to stop her.

 

-Years Later; But Not Many-

The clock tolled midnight in the Lalonde house and Rosaline had just finished stockpiling the necessary items to ensure that her future child could live here. She  
glanced around one last time at the building she had called home for many years, turning around she left the house, knowing that she would never return to it again.

The instructions that were given to her many years ago by her friend Jade English requested that she take down the man who would cause the deaths of over five billion people. Though Jade didn’t know whom the man would be she had known what the batter witches plans had been from the very start and now with all the information laid out before her, from old warnings to visions and from living in this dying world Rosaline knew that the one she had to take down was the man named Guy Fieri.

Rosaline had reached the place she needed to be, on the bridge over the Bloody Falls, her target stood grinning smugly in front of her. There was no possible way that she could undo the damage that this man had done, no way to punish him that would ever amount to the pain he had inflicted to the dead and the living. However the least she could do was wipe that grin from this world and if she was going down, he was coming with her!

[[STRIFE]]

The battle was short and tedious; the shell of a man had underestimated her and was unable to defend himself against her divine retribution. Rosaline used her knitting needles to blind him, stabbing them into his eyes and watching as he howled in pain, she then wrapped the wool around him and very literally road him down the Bloody Falls, determined to send the bastard back to the murky depts. of hell he had crawled out of.

As she fell Rosaline wished, not for the first time that she and David had grown up in a different world, a nicer world, one where they lived happily with their friends and didn’t have to be the sparks of victory.

A world in which they never had to fight again…


	3. Sent To: Dave                           From: Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Message recived, items collected and years pass
> 
> Dave comes to realize that humanity had given up along time ago

Sent To: Dave From: Rose

The first item that I request you pick up for me is the photo of Jade I mentioned earlier, I’ve sent the picture to a photo printing company in your area under your name, you simply have to collect it and chose a frame, I trust that you will find a wonderful one for her. 

The second item I want you to pick up for me is something I’ve ordered myself, I will have a link to the address in this text. You’ll understand once you see it…. But please be careful with it.

Lots of Love 

Rose

 

Looking at the text, red eyes still shining with tears quickly read over the lavender words. The man that was reading the text was none other than David Strider, well known director and soon to be famous director. 

The red eyed man was currently sat in the corner of his apartment room in Texas, the same position he had been in for roughly an hour after hearing the news about his beloved friend Jade’s death. It took a few more minutes for the sadness to disappear and melt into anger but once it did David placed his prised shades back onto his face and stood up determined to make the Batter witches life a living hell. 

The blonde would follow his friend’s advice and do what was being asked of him, the first thing he needed to do was pick up the photo and this item he had to be careful with.

A quick trip down town to collect the photo was easy enough, finding a nice frame for the photo was another matter. The photo had the smiling face of their friend, her face just as beautiful as ever even if time had aged it, hair once as black as night had turned grey like smoke but eyes still as bright as uranium. The photo didn’t really do her justice, not without the accompanying sound of her gruff laugh.

David ended up choosing two different frames, planning on cutting them diagonally and sticking the two together to make a single photo frame. The first frame was sleek and silver in colour, to represent the woman’s love of science and her maturity. The second was a childish frame, extremely colourful and filled with silly items like googley eyes that stuck out of the frame, this one would appeal to her fun loving nature. 

David had spent longer than he had intended trying to find the perfect frame so it was close to nightfall by the time he went to collect the item Rose had ordered beforehand. Once the red eyed man stood outside the pickup point another man walked past him, handing the blonde a backpack. The man didn’t stop and disappeared down the street.  
The up and coming famous director managed to wait until he was back in his small apartment before peeking inside the backpack. There were a few moments of silence before he let out a hollow laugh, Rose had ordered a bomb. “I guess we really will die… wont we Jade?” He asked, glancing down at the photo of the woman.

 

Years passed and despite his and Roses best efforts the Batterwitch won, she even went as far as killing David’s actors, which only fuelled the man’s anger towards the monster.

Eventually the time came for David Strider to take out those useless puppets that had been placed in the white house, and he would dispose of them with pleasure. 

Walking up the path to the white house was a rather surreal experience, no one stopped him it was as if the whole world had gone silent holding their breath as it watched the final act of revolution take place. 

David challenged the two idiots to a dual and they accepted with a laugh, they didn’t see the blonde haired man as any kind of threat, he was simply a cocky rapper who needed to learn his place. 

The fight, if one could call it that, was over just as quickly as it began. David had used his sword and speed to slice cleanly through the middle of one and cut the head off the other in one swift motion. He stood for a moment watching the blood pool on the roof of the building, he glanced down at the people who had gathered, watching him with dead eyes. 

It was already too late for a revolution, the realisation of this fact hurt Dave more than anything, humanity had finally given up... No, he guessed that it had given up a long time ago.

Turning his back on the people he pulled the shitty skateboard out and used it to gently ascend into the night.

 

Back to Rosaline

 

She was falling.

More specifically, she was riding Guy Fieri down the waterfall of blood. The crimson water bellow rushing quickly up to meet her and her still screaming companion. 

A few second before an impact that would surely kill her, she was snatched out of the air by none other than David Strider. She was set on her feet on the shitty flying skateboard that had started to ascend once more.

“Thank you for getting here on time.” Rosaline said politely as she held onto David for stability on the skateboard.

“No problem, but you really didn’t have to ride him down a waterfall, as amazing as that was! It was dangerous, no sense in dying before our inevitable death sentence.” He replied with a small smile.

“It’s good to see you again Dave.” The woman said fondly, turning her balancing hold into more of a hug that the other returned just as warmly. “Right back at ya, Rose.”

The two used the skateboard to take them all the way to the Batterwitche’s place for the final showdown, humanity might have given up but the two of them would fight side by side to the bitter end.

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, I'll try and keep it to four chapters but I might have to push it to five if I cant. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry but this will not end well....


End file.
